Stressed out!
My day did not really start well. I woke up starving. It had been like this for more than a month now. Our LPG had been consumed and my housemate and I opt not to buy a new one yet. The result—an empty stomach every morning.
I am not enjoying my school as of now. I am always tired. My grades are low. Just this morning, I had a really bad headache, maybe from skipping breakfast. But it did not stop there. I received a really bad score from a test to which I studied hard. It was depressing. I did not expect to cry over it. But it was hard to confine the emotion which built up into my lungs. Thanks to Joanne for consoling me.
We are busy in Kalasag. We are always busy in Kalasag. Imagine catering to almost two thousand students. Trying to make a yearbook within a year is a no joke! Sorting up ledgers, encoding the profiles of graduates you don’t even know, laying-out…work, work, work. It has been stressful.
The pressure brought about by my major subjects is hard to keep up. I have a music video to think about. I also have this Rizal-thing that is literally taking over my life for the past two weeks now. Imagine memorizing a 14-stanza poem for six days. Not to mention a four-stanza poem to be submitted tomorrow. Just writing about it, makes me want to disappear right now.
I admit I am not perfect. Although I say I am an optimist, something at the back of my mind says I am nothing. Compared to my classmates, I know I am not one of those who top our class. I find it hard to balance and my other activities. Due to my commitment with the annual, my time is always divided. Being the literary editor, I am responsible in making a concise and fact-updated yearbook.
I noticed that my health is deteriorating. Last Sunday, I find it hard to breathe even for just a few-meters run. My heart began to race so fast. I thought I was dying. I had to supply myself with vitamins just to keep up with my daily strenuous life.
It has been hard. Everyday I wake up, not wanting to get up.
But despite everything, I am still holding on.
I have no choice. Maybe I have. But I just can’t simply surrender.
I received a text message from my mom just this afternoon. She said she already deposited my tuition fee plus my allowance. Who would not be guilty with that? My parents have been so good to me. All I can pay them back is good grades and a daughter with a positive disposition.
I am okay. I’m supposed to be okay. Maybe I just have to assess myself. Lord knows how I will pass through this shaking. Lord knows. He always knows.
-o0o-
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