One of the lasts

i just realized that this is going to be my last sembreak ever.
that is, if i ever decide to go back to school.

since, i "moved out" of the house almost four years ago, my youngest
brother unofficially claimed my room. therefore, i don't have my own room
anymore since then. i am just laughing in the thought that after i graduate in march,
and im going home for good...i realized that i have no room of my own.

i can't continue to rollout my sleeping bags and sleep on my parent's floor, can i?
thinking about it is funny. but im worried though. what happens when that time comes?

my therapist told me that i dont get to sleep a lot. i guess he's right. every night, my mind just goes nowhere...i tried talking with myself, and just thinking alot of things until my eyes grew tired and i realized its morning already. this happens all the time. i guess im a worry-wart.

im very much optimistic. i am. or i guess, i think i am...or i just want to be one.

i guess its so-humanly that people worry about certain things in their lives. mothers worry about her children...fathers worry about his family...friends worry about their friends...and me...together with millions of graduating students of batch 2009 worries about what lies ahead after getting that diploma.

will we land a job after immediately? will we like the job we'll get? am i going to proceed to law? get my masters? get married? be a slacker? we don't know.

sometimes, or should i say most of the time..things just don't work out the way they should. things don't happen the way we wanted them to be. and it just sucks.

but i do believe in one thing.

i think the past generation has underestimated us. i believe that the youth today has gone beyond what is expected of them. i believe that the youth of today has struggled much on their own...but also learned to mature on their own.

as flowers bloom in season, we have to bloom with the season, too.

i still worry though. i guess i just have to bloom on my own..and wait for the butterflies to pass by...


-xoxo-

Rants on people

i wanna talk about people.

how they piss me off.

but i just allow them to be...piss me off so tenderly.

i wanna say "haha" to you, too!

i wanna talk about people.

how they fail you.

but you expect them to be.

i wanna say "booyah" to you!

i wanna talk about people.

how stupid they can get.

but they wallow in their existence.

i wanna say "how moronic you are!"

i wanna talk about people.

how i belong to them too.

but i don't wanna be part of the "we"

i wanna say "oopsy!" to me.